Is Connor McDavid Using “Family First” to Signal Change or Shield Himself? – The Hockey Writers – Edmonton Oilers

For several years, my writing partner Stan Smith and I have gone back and forth on the language players use when they talk about their futures. Stan has a sharp ear for comments that sound casual but might carry more weight. This past week, he pointed me toward something the Edmonton Oilers‘ Connor McDavid said that reminded him of Mitch Marner before he left the Toronto Maple Leafs. Both leaned heavily on the phrase “family comes first.”

At first glance, that’s a simple, human thing to say. Who’s going to argue with a player prioritizing family? But in hockey circles, especially in Canada, words like that can take on added layers. Fans and media start to wonder if “family first” is really code for a move, a soft signal that the player has one foot out the door.

Related: McDavid Signing With Maple Leafs No Longer as Crazy as You’d Think

Stan’s suggestion is that this phrase sometimes means exactly that: a relocation might be in the works. In Marner’s case, he wasn’t wrong. But logic and experience suggest that McDavid is different from Marner in many ways. McDavid’s comments and what seems like a lack of speed in his negotiations have created a firestorm of speculation.

Still, in these two uses – Marner’s and McDavid’s – “family first” might be less of a signal (for McDavid) and more of a shield.

Marner’s Departure: When Family Really Did Come First

When Marner left the Maple Leafs for the Vegas Golden Knights, he didn’t storm out. He didn’t frame it as a rejection of Toronto or its fans. Instead, he spoke calmly (too calmly for fans, it seems) about wanting a new chapter and a quieter life. He and his partner wanted a safer, more balanced environment to raise their child.

Related: Stuart Skinner & Peter Aubry: The Goaltending Test That Will Define the Oilers

That wasn’t a complaint about teammates, coaches, or contracts. It was a statement of values. For Marner, putting family first really did mean leaving. Toronto’s spotlight had become too bright, too relentless, to give him the peace he needed at home. In his case, “family first” wasn’t just talk. It was the story.

Does McDavid’s Familiar Language Carry a Similar Result?

Now to Edmonton. After a second-straight Stanley Cup Final loss, McDavid faced the same barrage of questions he always does: What comes next? His answers carried an unmistakable echo of Marner. He talked about needing time with his…